October 13, 2014

Keeping It Real-Running

Sometimes the truth hurts, but sometimes it can be a way to see how far we've really come.

I started running about 5 years ago.  I loved all kind of exercise and activity and had tried many things, but there was just something about the feeling I had with running.   I knew I wasn't going to win any races, but I was comfortable where I was.

Comfort can be both good and bad however.  
It can make you feel all warm and fuzzy, but then you realize that complacency is smacking you in the face.
It was one thing to allow my weight to hold me back from running.  I didn't by the way, but I had become comfortable with being heavier.  After all, I had tried diet after diet and increased my running and activity with no change in how I looked.

I was looking back on some old photos earlier today and found one after I had completed Couch to 5K back in October of 2010.  I remember being so proud of myself.  I'm still proud that I did it actually.  But I look at the photo.
I was a good 25 pounds overweight and had become comfortable with the thought that it wasn't going to change.  I had made peace with the fact that I was going to weigh 172 pounds and that it was where my body wanted to be.
I would diet.  I would starve and could last about 3 days before I gave in and binged and regained the few pounds I had lost.

The THM boards on facebook are filled with NSV, or non-scale victories.  This morning I remember thinking, My arms sure look defined lately.  When I saw this photo I realized how I was so happy at being able to run, but had decided that being chubby was a part of who I was.  
I remember the morning of my race how I refused to drink anything and then went to the port-a-potty about 5 times and wore a jacket tied around my waist so that any incontinence accidents wouldn't be noticed.
Today I get up and just run.  The stress incontinence is gone with the belly fat.  It is a non-issue for me today.

So that, along with being able to see definition in my arms, is my NSV for the day.  

And just to keep it real, this is me this morning alongside 4 years ago, almost to the day.  No makeup, hair isn't done, and I probably smell worse than I look, but I'm wanting to show the real me.

I'm still not incredibly fast, and I'm not in a competition with anyone.  I'm just wanting to be open to change and that there are boundaries that sometimes need to be pushed.

1 comment:

Sheila DelCharco said...

Way to go!I, too, enjoy running even though I am a definite middle of the packer. My husband is my constant inspiration in all thing running. I love having that in common with him!