I've been eating the Trim, Healthy Mama way for almost 8 months, and some days I just want to binge on donuts and chips. I don't, but I want to, and I feel like I just haven't had enough of a change in how I look.
You see, it's hard when the voice in your head keeps telling you that you are fat. It's hard when you look at your arms and see the flab over the muscles you know are there.
So I decided to not just look at the numbers on the scale. Not just look at my percentage of body fat.
I wanted to see if I could see a difference.
I've been blogging off and on for about 5 or 6 years. One recurrent theme is the fact that I always needed to lose 20 pounds.
This is me 3 years ago at 172 pounds running a 5K. My body fat was around 32% at this point.
You can find how to calculate your percentage of body fat here.
It wasn't pretty, but I'd resolved that at 41 years old, I just couldn't lose weight and needed to learn to live with it and get over it.
Then I went on a low-fat, vegan diet. I felt I had some hormonal issues that needed repairing and I looked to the Engine 2 diet and Forks Over Knives. I'd been a vegan in my 20s so it wasn't a massive change in habits. I dropped a few pounds, but fought for every one of them. As mentioned in THM, veganism and raw foods are a great way to heal your body. Well, it appears I got those hormonal issues straightened out because this was me April 2012....
I quit looking at the scale after it hit 200. I was pregnant after all, and it didn't really count, right?
I ended up peaking on Thanksgiving day of 2012 at 186 pounds on my 5' 7.5" frame. My body fat was somewhere around 35%, but it was too depressing to really measure and see. But my body fat monitor that told me I was in that ballpark.
I had heard of THM earlier that month and was dubious. The book was pricey at $35 just to starve and lose nothing. But I read what little there was about it online about it at that time, and took a chance.
The first week I was down 6.5 pounds. I was amazed!
I hadn't lost weight like that since my early 30s and had my second child. Then I even started making even more milk to feed my baby. I wasn't able to get him completely off formula, but I was able to nurse him through the winter (cold/flu season) and I don't think I'd have made it otherwise. He is just shy of 15 months now and we are just starting to really wean.
I also wasn't starving. I was eating 3 solid meals and 1 or 2 snacks a day. I was eating normal food, not so weird packaged stuff or some menu like most diet books read (you know salmon with steamed veggies, or a frou-frou piece of dry chicken with expensive sides). I am still making salmon patties, discovered I can make cauliflower taste a whole lot like mashed potatoes, and learned that desserts could be my friend.
I got off of bread, but discovered that flax makes some tasty crackers and muffins that will help me to lose weight.
I'm still running some, but working out heavier than I have in years.
So now, I'm 35 pounds lighter. I weigh 151 pounds at 44 years old. I would still like to lose 5 more pounds as my body fat is now 27% and I've said I'll just keep losing till I see at least 25% body fat.
I'm looking back at those older shots, and I wonder how I could run, but then I remember the stress incontinence I used to have that is now gone. (and yes, I just admitted to that)
I remember how physically tired I was in pregnancy, but now I can carry a 30 pound toddler without aches and pains.
I'm not a slave to food or to exercise and can enjoy life with my family and am not limited or embarrassed by my size.
I'm no longer in a tight 12-14 clothing size and needing buy bigger things, but wearing a 6 or 8.
So sometimes it's good to evaluate, to see where you are and where you've been.
Yeah, this is a frivolous vanity post, but sometimes you need those, I think, because it never hurts to remember that life is good, and God is good, so you need to take time to not get hung up on the details, but see the overall picture and enjoy all the blessings you have been given.