"The trick is to find out which one you are and to be that."
This is the line from a movie I once saw that made an impact on me. So often we say we are going to exercise or diet or quit smoking, but things get hard and we go back to our old habits that give us comfort.
I'm not a pack rat. I like to throw things out as it makes me feel productive (though I have learned the hard way that some times I need to put a bit more thought into this practice).
That's why it kind of made me question why I wasn't getting rid of my 'fat clothes' and maternity clothes as well. I don't have many clothes, due to years spent wearing scrubs, I have never really needed a large wardrobe, and my life is fairly informal so I don't have need for dressier outfits.
But... to get back to my original point. I was holding on to the person I was. I think I was afraid I'd get fat (or pregnant) again and was holding onto the clothes in a spirit of fear.
But the Bible tells us in 2 Corinthians that,
"if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."
I realize this is speaking on a different point, but that's the cool thing about God.... He can always find a way to talk to you and tell you what he needs you to know.
I was holding on, in my head, to the person that I was. I dealt with this in the past when I lost weight and was fit. In my head, I was still the dumpy and chubby girl who got notes to get out of PE and lived on milkshakes and cheetos.
It's hard to move past who we once were and not hold on to the addictions and habits of the past.
But God tells us that the old, to Him, is gone. We need to be living as the new people who we are. We need to choose who and what we are going to be, and then just be it.
It sounds so simple, and I believe that we often overthink it? That we make things harder on ourselves? That we get used to the pain? That we believe 'just a small cheat' won't hurt us?
To me, if I am living as a new person, then the old isn't a part of who I am now. I need to change my attitude and habits.
I need to get rid of my fat clothes because that isn't me any more.
Then I read this in Colossians:
"seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator".
So not only do I need to live as a new person, I need to arm myself with knowledge. I don't need to just say, hey, I'm making changes, and going thru the motions. I need to be constantly learning and growing.
God doesn't want me to blindly follow some trend or to just do like someone else tells me. This says I need to be learning continually, like you renew a library book, I need to renew my thinking regularly so I don't get stuck in the past habits.
I need to know why I'm living as I choose to live so that I can continue to make good choices and leave that chubby chick where she belongs.... in my past.